"We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
It was about this time a year ago that I got mad at God. Most you didn't know it, its not my style to publicize such a personal matter, but God and I were not on good terms. I think it's more accurate to say that I was in the wrong place, but not God.
I was at a point where I felt like I needed to be in different place and doing something different. I became angry, frustrated and and maybe a little bit confused. At times my anger may have seemed rooted in the place, but it was not, it was at God. Selfishly, I believed I needed to be somewhere else, hence God was "wrong," which mad me mad.
This season of anger lasted about the entire month of December. As the new year approached I sought counsel from other friends who had be in the ministry longer. The counsel was pretty simple: are you asking God, "How do I need to be serving God and not Jeremy?" Are you asking "do I need to learn something new, if so, let me be receptive?" and "is there something else You need to show me through someone here?"
God had more in store for me at the camp; I just needed to get over myself.
Jesus says, "Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full" John 16:24. I may have been praying, but I was not praying correctly, it was out of anger and my will, not His. God wanted me to surrender my anger and surrender my will to Him.
At the end of the month I decided to "let God." I was ready and willing to do whatever He asked me to do, whatever I needed to learn and seek out whoever I needed to seek out.
I was refreshed and renewed at a place I didn't think I needed to be, but really it was right where God wanted me to be.
During the next four and a half months at the camp I learned so much about God: His purposes in my life, how to serve Him better and also to serve those around me; all for His glory. I came to a better understanding that speaking His words into people's lives was part of His plan. To help equip others, encourage, and do life together. I learned to listen to the Holy Spirit, speak when prompted by God, not me.
God's plans and purposes are way beyond my feeble plans! God wants us to have a deep and rich relationship with Him. He is constantly communicating with you and I, and it's our job and responsibility to be attentive to His leading and follow.
I am thankful for my "time of anger," but more thankful I decided to surrender and allow Him to grow me!
If you're in a position where you're angry or upset with your job, yourself or maybe your family, it is time to allow God to teach you something!
Rick Warren says, "It's not about you."
Surrender your life, surrender your will and ask Him what you need to be doing. Allow Christ to rule, not YOU.
It took me almost a month to realize that I was more worried about me than I was about God. That may be where you are today.
Ask God, what do you need to be learning, how could you be serving Him and if there's someone who can help you. Begin to earnestly pray, seek Him and His will. He will lead you.