Application for Reinstatement***

I figured if Brett Favre was going to make a comeback, I could too. A few days ago, I submitted my paperwork to the NFL and the Green Bay Packers advising them I was no longer retiring, but ready to be the 2008-2009 H2O Manager (or waterboy) for the Packers. It would be okay if they offered me one million dollars over the next ten years for me not to come back, but I received only the following statement:

“The Green Packers organization has no clue who you are, what you want, or why you would even send us an application for reinstatement for a position that is already filled. Please do not ever contact our organization again, unless its to buy a ticket to a game.”

I have given up my dream of becoming the Packers waterboy and will look to other employment opportunities such as: sky hook test dummy; urine donation to NASA; and/or stamp licker at my local post office.

***Disclaimer: This blog entry is completely fictional and meant for entertainment. It does not contain any truth about the NFL, Green Bay Packers, and/or Brett Favre. Its intent is parody on the entire situation (just for laughs). To tell some truth, I enjoy watching the NFL, Packers, and Brett Favre (when he wasn’t retired).

The Dark Knight: “Why so serious?”

Director Christopher Nolan has created a masterpiece in the second Batman film entitled The Dark Knight. If you’ve been watching the news or following headlines on your favorite news website, than you know that this film is breaking records. This dark and raw Batman surpasses all other attempts. When Batman Begins hit the screen in 2005, I highly enjoyed the more serious take on the character and was excited about Christian Bale’s work as Bruce Wayne/Batman. I was all the more excited when I learned Nolan and Bale had signed on to complete two more films; so I have been looking forward to The Dark Knight.

Nolan’s continuation of Batman Begins features Bruce Wayne’s struggle with his alter ego Batman and a new villain who is wrecking havoc on Gotham City, The Joker. The Joker, played by the late Heath Ledger, was done exceptionally well. Many media outlets and friends said that Ledger deservers an Oscar, but I wasn’t will to believe the statement until I saw the film. Ledger not only played the Joker, but he became the Joker. I will vividly remember Ledger for his role as the Joker; his dry mouth line and red scar filled smile saying, “Why so serious?” He did such an amazing job and is highly deserving of the Oscar award.

The tale is so dark, twisted; even scary at some points (just ask my wife, who chewed all her nails off). The cast did a wonderful job and made this film very “real.” I was on the edge of my seat the entire movie and was surprised several times by the plot. There is truth and a glimmer of hope in the film, but if you aren’t watching carefully, you might miss it. I highly, highly recommend seeing this film in the theaters. We waited a week after release and went to Alamo Drafthouse to learn it was sold out. We ended up at the Lakeline mall theater and enjoyed a wonderful movie outing.

I hope you folks have a blessed week.

The DQ Thin Mint Blizzard

Whoever thought of combining Dairy Queen’s Blizzard with Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies should be given an award.

I didn’t race to the nearest DQ when I saw the commercial, but should have. When I saw the commercial I thought, “It’s too good to be true.” I pinched myself, asked Kari, “Did you see that?” and realized what was being advertised was true. Yesterday evening we decided we had waited long enough, we needed to go buy a Thin Mint Blizzard. We cruised over to the local DQ off 620 and ordered a small Blizzard to share.

This new creation by Dairy Queen was wonderful. Every bite was loaded with Thin Mint cookie chucks. Considering my love for Thin Mints and putting them in the freezer, having them in the ice cream made it amazing.

I really can’t accurately describe this experience, I find myself at a loss for words. I can only encourage you to experience it for yourself. Visit your local DQ and order a Thin Mint Blizzard. Enjoy and God Bless.

Dodgeball Rocks!

I haven’t played dodgeball in years for several reasons, but yesterday I get a text message that said, “Dodgeball n the gym tonight if ur interested.” This was an offer I couldn’t refuse. I got off work, Kari had dinner ready, we ate and than headed to play some dodgeball at Crestview Baptist Church.

We didn’t keep an official record of wins vs. losses, but each team won some and lost some. It was great, throwing, dodging and pegging the other team. I took one good hit to the forehead, but it only slowed me down for a few seconds. It’s funny to watch how quickly people respond and don’t respond to a flying object. In the case of my shot, I was looking down to pick up some more ammunition, so I was blind. I am a little sore this morning, but would gladly accept another offer to play some more dodgeball.

I hope everyone is having a great week. God Bless.

Toobing the Comal River

On Saturday Kari and I took three students from the Well Student Ministry to New Braunfels, TX for some fun on the Comal River. We headed out for the trip about ten and hit the river about 12pm. The water was really cold, but worth getting in because according to one thermometer it was 109 degrees. We took two trips down the river, but the first trip was my favorite. The second trip was more challenging for a few reasons. One, it was later in the day and the sun seemed to be get hotter. Two, we weren’t prepared to go down a waterfall and everyone flipped out of their tubes. Third, there were so many people on the river; you could barely see the water around you at times.

Overall, we relaxed, enjoyed conversation with the students and had some excitement. On this stretch of river there are three tube chutes. Unfortunately on one of these chutes I lost my sunglasses and one of my crocs (also lost, several bottles of water, snacks and almost one student). Thankfully, many people were fishing things from the river and a man found my croc, but the sunglasses are lost to the Comal River abyss. After getting out of the river we stopped by a snow-cone stand and enjoyed our cold treats in the shade. My green apple snow-cone was a refreshing delight. It was a wonderful fun in the sun.

Sidenote: I am sunburned on my knees, shins and near my underarm on my chest. I forgot how painful it can be to be burnt by the sun. Strangely enough, we all applied sunscreen and I was the one who got severely burned. Wonderful!

Have a great week; God bless.

Dodgers Fact:

I could not pass sharing this MLB fact.

The Dodgers traded backup catcher Cliff Dapper to the Atlanta Crackers in 1948 in exchange for young broadcaster Ernie Harwell, the first time in baseball history that such a transaction took place.

All Star break is over…Playball! (maybe the ‘stros can turn it around!)

Have You Ever Heard Demonic Whispers?

Let me begin by reminding you of some of the lies Satan poured into the ear of Eve, “"You won't die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you'll see what's really going on. You'll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil” (Genesis 3:4-5). This is a lie, bold face lie from Satan, as you will note the following lies directed at my wife:

“could this post be any stupider? seriously, nobody gives a crap and we are all now dumber for having read it...you are awarded no points and may God have mercy on your soul.”

“once again you are so stupid and the things you blog about make no sense. The reasons your love is based on are not anything of true worth or value. Oh and just because you put love in there a THOUSAND times doesn't make it any more true.”

These comments were recently left on my wife’s blog concerning her love for me and I can firmly say these hateful statements adequately tore down my wife and I. For your pleasure and satisfaction, I will mention, the comments tore us down to tears. I think someone really has so much time on his or her hands to sit around and be hateful because they have nothing better to do (like a job or a life) and Satan is effectively using that someone to tear us down.

In addition, these comments were left at the appropriate time in accordance with Satan’s plans because we are currently facing some trials. To clarify: I do not mean marriage trails, but we are being persecuted by other worldly things that if you would like to know about them, you can speak to us on a personal level. All to say, these comments were expected because Satan is throwing the bus at us in an attempt to tear us down in order keep us from following God’s will. I can assure you, these silly comments are not and will not slow us down or cause us to run and hide, or stop is from chasing after what God has called us to do.

We all make choices every second of the day. In these critical moments when you sit down, read someone else’s words and thoughts, you might think to yourself, “I think I will say something hateful.” These divine opportunities are given for you to choose to dispel the evil and say nothing at all, leave a constructive comment, or say a word of encouragement. Ultimately, as seen above, you have chosen to tear a believer down and we will gladly accept your hateful words, post them and share them because it only makes us stronger.

We thank you for leaving your thoughts and comments and if you are a believer we pray that God breaks your heart, reveals the evil in your life, and removes it and makes you a better person in Him. We pray that if you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, we are praying for you and would be more than willing to share our relationship with Jesus with you, because it is life changing filled with love, grace and forgiveness. I will leave you with this:

“Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies….”

(I Corinthians 13:4-8)

I Learned Something, Mr. Police Officer

In honor of our sermon series, I got pulled over by the police yesterday. Not the band The Police though, but the Bee Cave police department. We were headed out to camp and I noticed there was a green light ahead. In addition to snakes, I also dislike red lights, so I put my foot down in attempt to catch the green light (Reminder: I hate snakes more). I had no good reason to be speeding, so I deserved whatever ticket the officer was about to give me. Something good did come out of the situation; being stopped was an opportunity for me to learn something. Ok, so I haven’t learned to stop speeding yet, but hopefully that will come soon.

What I did learn is you don’t have to be rude to the officer. I am notorious for being rude to police officers when I get pulled over (sorry Steve, love you bro). Its not that I always think that I am innocent because 9 times out of 10 I am guilty, but sometimes I just don’t like the officers attitude so I tend to respond rudely back (this probably could have led to my arrest on more than one occasion, but thankfully I have not been arrested). I am throwing the rudeness out the window and replacing it with respect for the boys in blue from now on.

As the officer approached I left my hands on the wheel in order to allow the officer to see my hands. The officer introduced himself and asked if I knew why I was being pulled over, and I replied, “I was speeding.” He followed procedure and asked for my license and insurance. I used kind, respectful words like, “yes sir,” “no sir,” and “I’m sorry, officer.” He checked out the information and I continued to be kind and respectful towards him. If fact, I had no urge or tendency to be rude to him (that was a first). He graciously gave me back my license and said, “slow down and have a good day.” No ticket! I was shocked and amazed that the officer showed me grace.

Not only did I get a wake up call on my attitude towards police officers, but also received a wonderful picture of grace. To think, the officer overlooked my mistake, my violation of the law and prevented me from paying for a possible $150 ticket. God offers redemption from not just one mistake, but all of them. Through his son Jesus Christ, we can be forgiven and rescued from eternal separation from God. How awesome is that! If you haven’t experienced the grace of God and or have questions, drop me a line jeremyhellums@gmail.com

Have a blessed week, talk to you folks soon. God Bless you.

No Snakes, But I Did Kill Bunnies

Saturday evening we spent the evening eating and chatting with Mr. and Mrs. Patterson and played an amazing game called Killer Bunnies. This does not break any state or PETA rules because the bunnies are on playing cards. This game is a riot. I was not very good though because my bunnies were always getting killed. Everyone made it to the finally round expect for me and Kari won our first round of Killer Bunnies with the Patterson’s. I am looking forward to game two; hopefully I can bring a new strategy and become victorious.

Journey Two ended well on Thursday. It was a pleasure working with the Stephen Miller Band and Jeffrey Dean. Both the band and speaker were very easy to work with and evident they love God. It is great to be able to work with people whom you know have hearts that want to see students have a relationship with Jesus Christ; as well as to be avid disciples in the faith.

Sunday at the Well, we continued our sermon series “The Gospel According to the Police.” Jason is out, so Randy is speaking for the month of July. Sunday’s sermon was thought provoking. When I read over the lyrics of Roxanne, I wasn’t sure where Randy was going with the sermon. In brief, Hosea 1:2 says, “When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, "Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness…” One of the main points was God’s unconditional love. This image of loving an “adulterous wife” no matter what, is exactly how God loves us. We put other things before Him and “cheat” on God daily, but he goes on loving us, unconditional. What an amazing image of God’s love. If you haven’t read Hosea, check it out. It is a great book.

Well, we are headed to Journey Three this week with the Justin Cofield Band. Have a great week. God Bless.

Check out 7-Eleven!

Journey Two Kicked Off…with a Power Outage!

Sunday the second programmed youth camp began at Highland Lakes Encampment. This week started off with a power outage. As Kari and I filled out some paperwork in the office, the opening rally was getting started. We went in about half way through to find things moving very smoothly. I went backstage to visit with the director of operations and that’s when the power died. After powering the sound system down and checking all the breakers I had access to, we called in the “big dogs,” because I would not be able to fix the problem. The Rec Teams from Wayland and ETBU did an awesome job entertaining and directing the students without a PA and successfully ended the welcome rally. The staff quickly assessed the problem, which was in the main box at the power pole, but left us without power till dinner.

After a quick sound check, we were ready to begin worship with the Stephen Miller Band. I had the pleasure of working with these guys during Journey One and good times with them again. These guys love God, are flexible, and easy to work with. Oh, and they sound good too. Author and Youth Communicator Jeffrey Dean took the stage and had the students ‘whooping’ and ‘hollering’ immediately to drive home a point. He spoke God’s word very effectively and I am looking forward to hearing more from Mr. Dean.

We headed home, but said hello to Gene, Rachel and Nat before grabbing a cheese hot dog and LARGE Dr. Pepper. It was a wonderful ending to a great weekend. God Bless.

Answers to July 4th baseball questions:
C) 1931
A) Eddie Murray & Mickey Mantle

Saturday Night Fun with Snakes!

“The only good snake, is a dead snake.”

With a bag of luggage in one hand and a backpack slug over my shoulder, I stepped into the moist grass about 10:10pm Saturday night. Before taking my next step, a copperhead slithered away from my sandal clad foot. Much to my surprise, I found a second copperhead, but bigger.

Pardon the interruption, but I think it is necessary for me to tell you at this point that I hate snakes.

I grabbed a near by shovel and threw the bags on the porch. At some point, I hollered at Kari and she moved the bags inside and joined me in the panic stricken snake hunt.* After a few attempts with the shovel Kari and I did nothing but scare them into hiding. Kari decided to get the guns out, she ran inside to grab and load the guns. I stayed outside and spotted a small one hidden in the bushes. I quickly and accurately chopped the head off with the shovel. Kari and her mother, Ruth, came outside with a .22 caliber. Ruth recently broke her ankle, but was limping around outside ready to fire on anything that slithered. Our search came to an end about twenty minutes later leaving us with one dead copperhead.

We said our goodbyes and grabbed our bags to head home. As we walked to the car, Kari spotted a second copperhead wrapped up near a small tree. We dropped the bags inside again and grabbed the shovel. Copperhead number two lost his head. This snake was small, so it seemed there was one bigger copperhead in the area. We turned the headlights on and searched the bushes and grass around the porch. Kari spotted a tail, “There is it!” she exclaimed. I didn’t see the snake, but she kept her eye on him. I ran in the house and grabbed the .22. At some point, Kari lost sight of the third snake.

We searched for about 10 minutes to no avail, but before we gave up Ruth shined the flashlight into the tree and there he sat on a tree limb about 15 feet above our heads. He had been watching us search the bushes for a while it seemed, but this gave us an advantage. Bullets were loaded and Ruth wanted the first shot. ‘Blam!’ Her first shot missed. I volunteered to go next, loaded the bullet into the chamber and aimed for what I thought was his head. ‘Blam!’ He fell to the sidewalk and Kari took the shovel to his head. I didn’t hit him in the head, but he took a body shot that made him fly to the ground. Copperhead number three, dead!

That was enough snake killing for the evening, so we grabbed our stuff, loaded up and headed home. It was an unexpected close to a Saturday evening. Oh, did I mention, I hate snakes.

I hope everyone had a great Fourth of July. God bless.

*This order of events is sketchy, due to my fear of snakes!

Happy Fourth of July

Who blogs on a holiday anyway…”I do, I do!” So…just for fun…Back by popular demand…

Major League Baseball Fun: What was the year that no pitcher in the National League won 20 or more games?

A) 1902
B) 1974
C) 1931
D) 2001

Who are the only two switch-hitters with over 1,500 career RBI’s?

A) Eddie Murray & Mickey Mantle
B) Vic Wertz & Roger Maris
C) Pete Rose & Mickey Owen
D) Jackie Robinson & Barry Bonds

Check back next week for the answers. Have a blessed Fourth of July weekend!

Are You Aware?

I have been missing so much not recognizing your touch
Make me aware, make me aware
Help me see that everything I am is not all about me
Take my world turn it around so that the obvious can finally be found
Make me aware, make me aware

Salvador’s new title track Aware is a breath of fresh air and a reminder to Christian’s that our daily prayer should be “make me aware.” God is moving daily and this song reminds me that we should not be worried about our own personal gain, praise or desires because it’s not all about you or me.

It also reminds me of a father and a little boy in an electronics store. The little boy had found something on the shelf and wanted to share it with his father. The father was deeply engrossed by the latest DVD release by Robert Rodriguez. The little boy pleaded with his father to look his direction, but he would not turn his head. Finally the little boy gave up and played by himself on a different aisle. The father never gave his son a response, but carried on looking at the latest DVD release.

Thankfully, our Father does not ignore, turn his head or deny his children when we call on his name. More often than not, we are ignoring Him with our “busy” lives, internet, TV, shopping, you name it, we put God on hold. That’s why we should wake up every morning and ask God to “make us aware,” and put our focus on Him daily.

I hope these lyrics touched you as deeply as they did me. Check out Salvador’s new album Aware. God Bless you.

The Official YEC Review from Insert Title Here

The 40th annual Youth Evangelism Conference might have been one of the best yet. I can remember years past some seemed to have dragged on, or maybe the speaker was great for the leaders, but over the kids heads; this year was a good showcase of talent that effectively reached the students and adults.

Friday: This year I was blessed to take two students from the Well on our first road trip. We headed for Dallas about 12:30ish from North Austin with Crestview Baptist Church. After spending about 45 minutes on Rundberg in Austin attempting to pick up a student (we got lost), we were finally on the way to Garland. This year the event was moved from Reunion Arena to the Special Events Center in North Texas, I think it made the event cozier.

The speakers spoke God’s word and communicated to the students and adults effectively. For me though, Delirious? stole the show. Those guys were and are amazing. This was the first time I had heard them live and after that performance I would listen to them scratch a chalk board with amazing lyrics, if they choose to record such. I highly encourage you to check out Delirious?.

We were blessed by a local church and got to sleep in their pews. I started out on the pew, but couldn’t take it, so I ended up on the floor. Not only did they let us crash in the church, we woke up to homemade breakfast tacos! It was some good eats.

Saturday: The Skit Guys took the stage for about 30 minutes. This was non-stop laughter for me. Those guys made the crowd laugh to tears and than add a spiritual message on the end giving all the glory to God. You have seen the Skit Guys on my page before; remember the Mother’s Day video…so yep, I enjoy their work. Stellar Kart closed the conference with some rockin’ tunes. I had not heard them before, but enjoyed listening to their stage banter and genuine love for God conveyed to the students. It was a great time.

I hope each of you have a great day…the Fourth is coming up, can you believe its July…Get ready for some fireworks. God Bless.